by Events • November 3, 2024 • Uncategorized
If you’re looking for a guide to follow for wedding speeches, we’re here to help. Take a look inside for what you need to know.
If you’re planning your wedding, one of the common questions that may come to mind is, who gives speeches at a wedding and in what order?
Traditionally, speeches are given by the father of the bride, the groom, and the best man. However, in modern weddings, it’s becoming increasingly popular to include speeches by the bride, the maid of honour, and sometimes even siblings or close friends. The beauty of today’s weddings is the flexibility to customise this order to suit your unique preferences, personalities, and family dynamics.
Interestingly, fathers of the groom typically don’t take the spotlight in this tradition, but many are now embracing the opportunity to share their thoughts and stories. This guide will explore the traditional roles of each speaker while providing practical advice on creating meaningful speeches. Whether you choose to stick with convention or make it your own, we hope this helps you navigate the speech-making process with confidence.
The first speech traditionally comes from the father of the bride (or the parents of the bride, depending on the family structure). This wedding welcome speech plays a significant role in welcoming guests to the wedding and setting the tone for the day’s celebrations. Typically, the father of the bride begins with a warm welcome and heartfelt thanks to all the guests, especially those who have travelled far to attend the wedding.
From there, the father usually shares personal anecdotes about the bride, highlighting key moments from her childhood or life that showcase her character, sense of humour, or any special memories they’ve shared together. It’s also customary for the father of the bride to acknowledge the groom, often welcoming them into their family with open arms.
The speech can last between five to ten minutes, striking a balance between sentimentality and light-hearted humour. Fathers are often encouraged to keep things positive and focus on the happiness of the occasion, offering advice for the couple’s future while thanking those who helped make the wedding day possible.
Traditionally, the father of the groom doesn’t give a speech at weddings, but if you’re open to shaking up convention, there are many reasons why he might be invited to speak. Whether it’s a way to honour family relationships or to personalise the ceremony, the father of the groom’s speech can be a meaningful addition to the day.
For example, at an LGBTQ+ wedding, with two grooms getting married, both fathers might be asked to give speeches, either individually or together. Or it might be something as simple as this: the groom really wants to hear from his dad on his wedding day. Whatever the reason, if the groom wants his father to speak, feel free to break from tradition and embrace the opportunity.
In a traditional order of wedding speeches, things usually kick off with the father of the bride, followed by the groom, and finally the best man. If you’ve decided to include a speech from the groom’s father, it typically falls between the father of the bride and the groom’s speeches. This allows both families to be represented, creating a balance in the order of events.
It’s worth bearing in mind, that if both sets of fathers are doing a speech – make sure to keep them slightly shorter!
The groom’s speech is often one of the most anticipated, as it gives him the chance to directly address the guests, thank key individuals, and share his love for his new partner. In recent times, it has become more common for the couple to deliver this speech together, allowing both partners to express their gratitude and emotions in their own words.
Traditionally, the groom’s speech involves thanking the parents, the wedding party, and the guests for being part of the special day. He may also offer a deep and personal message to the bride, speaking about their relationship, how they’ve grown together, and their excitement for the future. If the couple chooses to speak together, they may each take turns thanking their respective families and sharing their joint excitement for their married life.
This speech generally lasts around five to ten minutes, though if both the bride and groom are speaking, it may extend a little longer. It’s important to maintain a personal and genuine tone, allowing for some humour, but keeping the focus on gratitude and love.
The best man and maid of honour typically close the speeches, adding a light-hearted and joyful end to the formalities. Traditionally, only the best man speaks, but many modern couples also invite the maid of honour to share a few words. This allows both sides of the couple’s close friends to express their love and support.
The best man’s speech usually includes funny anecdotes about the groom – whether it’s a childhood story, a shared adventure, or a playful jab at the groom’s quirks. While humour is often the focus, it’s important to balance this with heartfelt well-wishes for the couple’s future. A touching conclusion that highlights the groom’s positive qualities ensures the speech resonates with everyone.
The maid of honour’s speech, though less traditional, is a chance to reflect on her deep friendship with the bride. She may share cherished memories or offer insight into the bride’s character. If she has a close relationship with the groom, she can also welcome him into their circle with kind words.
Both speeches typically last five to ten minutes, balancing humour and emotion while keeping the jokes respectful and the atmosphere celebratory!
Absolutely! Many couples today opt to personalise their order of wedding speeches to suit their unique preferences. Whether you choose to follow tradition, swap the sequence, or involve more speakers, the decision is entirely yours. For example, some couples may choose to have the bride give a speech, or even invite close friends or siblings to speak. Factors such as your family’s traditions, the flow of the day, or the personalities of the speakers can all influence your decision. Ultimately, your wedding is a reflection of your relationship, so feel free to create a speech order that feels special and meaningful to you.
Once the speeches are over, the rest of the celebration unfolds. Whether it’s cutting the cake, enjoying a first dance, or simply mingling with guests, the speeches set the tone for the remaining festivities. What comes after the wedding may vary, but typically, it involves transitioning to a more relaxed atmosphere where guests can celebrate and party freely with the newlyweds.
Determining the ideal length for a wedding speech can feel a bit like asking, “How long is a piece of string?” However, a good rule of thumb is to aim for five to ten minutes per speech. This timeframe allows for meaningful and engaging stories without dragging on and losing the audience’s attention.
Shorter speeches are perfectly acceptable, especially when there are multiple speakers throughout the event. However, it’s best to avoid exceeding the 10-minute mark to maintain the energy and momentum of the celebration. Ultimately, the goal is to share heartfelt sentiments while keeping guests entertained, ensuring that each speech contributes to the joyous atmosphere of the day.
While the traditional order of wedding speeches starts with the parents of the bride and ends with the best man and maid of honour, you can absolutely tailor the sequence to suit your preferences and family dynamics. Modern weddings embrace flexibility, allowing couples to create a speech line-up that reflects their personal style. The key is to keep each speech personal, concise, and fitting for the tone of your special day.
If you have any questions about planning your wedding speeches or other details, Heaton House Farm is here to support you every step of the way, ensuring your celebration is as memorable and personal as possible.
