by Events • June 18, 2025 • Wedding Planning Guides
8 ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid | Heaton House Farm
You’ve got the ring, you’re looking at dresses and you’ve started dreaming about your perfect farm wedding, but there’s one (sometimes nerve-wrecking) part of your wedding plans you need to sort early…
Asking that special someone (or someones) to be your bridesmaid.
The earlier you ask bridesmaids to stand by your side, the more help you’ll get with wedding planning, dress decisions, nerve-calming and making sure you don’t become a Bridezilla!
How to ask someone to be your bridesmaid isn’t as straightforward as you might think. There are lots of different ways to do it, with plenty of new ‘norms’ to consider and social media-worthy trends to follow.
We’ve got a few ideas to share below, but the most important thing to remember is to make it personal and comfortable. Just do what feels natural to you and the nearest and dearest you’re asking.
ng someone to be your bridesmaid is a special moment. It’s not just a wedding invite or a ‘favour to ask’. It’s a recognition of the importance of your relationship, and a celebration of how much that person means to you.
The way you ask sets the tone for the entire experience and shows your bridesmaids just how much thought and care you’ve put into including them in your special day.
A thoughtful approach also gives you the chance to explain what being a bridesmaid will involve, from dress shopping to helping you plan your perfect barn wedding, so everyone knows what to expect from the start.
One of the most personal ways to ask someone to be your bridesmaid is to tie your request into something they’re passionate about.
Got a best friend who loves keeping fit? Create a custom water bottle with “Will you help me run towards the altar?”
Asking someone who loves to read? Slip a bookmark with your question into her current favourite book, or create a custom book cover asking “Will you be my bridesmaid?”
The personal touch shows you’ve really thought about what makes them unique.
A carefully curated hamper is a classic approach that never goes out of style. Fill it with items that reflect your friendship – perhaps some luxury bath salts for relaxing before the big day, a beautiful candle, some of her favourite chocolates, and a heartfelt handwritten note.
You could even include a small piece of jewellery she could wear on the wedding day, or something practical like a gorgeous makeup bag she’ll use during all the wedding preparations. The key is choosing items that feel personal rather than generic.
3. A request themed to your wedding style
If you’re planning a rustic farm wedding, why not embrace that theme when asking your bridesmaids? You could create mini mason jars filled with wildflower seeds and attach a note asking them to “help you bloom on your special day.”
For a more elegant barn celebration, consider a beautiful wooden box filled with dried flowers and a vintage-style key with a tag reading “Will you be the key to my perfect day?”. It might be a little cheesy for your bridesmaid… or they might absolutely love it.
For the wine-loving friend, a custom wine label is both thoughtful and something they can keep as a memento. Create a label that reads “Will you be my bridesmaid?” with your wedding date, or go for something playful like “I can’t say ‘I do’ without you.”
If wine isn’t their thing, apply the same concept to their favourite drink — custom beer labels, a beautiful bottle of gin with a personalised message, or even a gorgeous coffee blend with custom packaging asking the question.
5. Bridesmaid proposal boxes
If you’re short on time but still want a special gift, ready-made bridesmaid proposal boxes have become incredibly popular, and for good reason — they take the guesswork out of what to include while still feeling special.
Grab a pre-curated set that includes everything from champagne flutes to hair ties, or create your own version with items that reflect your wedding theme and your friendship.
6. Tie it to a special occasion
Timing your bridesmaid request around their birthday, Christmas, or another meaningful date can make the moment even more special. Imagine their surprise when what they think is a birthday gift turns out to be a bridesmaid proposal!
You could also tie it to an anniversary of your friendship – perhaps asking on the anniversary of when you first met, or during an annual tradition you share together. If you want to make the moment feel organic rather than obviously planned, this is a great option.
7. Print a simple photo of the two of you
Nothing tugs at the heartstrings quite like a trip down memory lane. One simple photo that captures your friendship – or a collection if you prefer – is a brilliant, budget-friendly way to personalise the way you ask bridesmaids to join in your special day.
You could even add other memories from your time together – ticket stubs from concerts or flight tickets from shared holidays or mementos from adventures you’ve shared.
8. Make it an unforgettable experience
Sometimes the best way to ask is to create a shared experience around the moment. Plan a spa day, a crafting workshop, or even a trip to visit your wedding venue together, and pop the question during your time together. Whether it’s a simple afternoon tea or a fun-filled activity, the shared experience gives you quality time together and creates a memory you’ll both treasure long after the wedding day.
However you choose to ask, the words you use matter just as much as the method. Again, just make it personal and go with whatever feels comfortable.
But if you struggle to get your words out, here are some heartfelt conversation starters that work for any approach:
Add some specifics about why you’ve chosen them – shared memories, their qualities you admire, or how they’ve supported you – and you’ll get a quick and easy yes from them.
Timing is everything when it comes to asking your bridesmaids. The sweet spot is typically 6-8 months before your wedding day – early enough that they have plenty of time to plan and save for any associated costs, but not so early that circumstances might change significantly.
Avoid asking during stressful times in their lives (like during exams, major work deadlines, or family difficulties) and try to choose a moment when you can have their full attention.
Once you’ve got your dream team assembled, the real fun begins. Your bridesmaids will likely want to be involved in various aspects of your wedding planning, from choosing the perfect rustic wedding decorations to helping you decide between ceremony locations.
At Heaton House Farm, we love seeing bridal parties visit together to explore our different ceremony areas and get excited about the possibilities for their big day. There’s something magical about sharing that moment when you all fall in love with the same vision for your wedding.
Whether you’re dreaming of a completely rustic celebration or something more elegantly styled, having your closest friends by your side makes every decision more fun and every moment more meaningful.
So what are you waiting for?
Now you know how to ask your bridesmaids to stand by your side, pop those questions.
Then request a brochure today and start planning those unforgettable moments with the people who matter most.
